My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my sisters under your porch take her home
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
