So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
