one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize