You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
