Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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