Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
