How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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