My room smells like vodka and shame
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
