i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
