I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
