I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
