Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
