making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
