i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
