He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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