if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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