Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
