just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
