and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
