Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Those nachos came to me in a dream
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
