Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
