I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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