were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
