On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize