i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We had sex on a dog bed..
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize