just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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