sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize