I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My dick has a subreddit
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
