I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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