Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
