i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
