yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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