I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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