Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
