If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
