The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize