Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
