im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
