I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
