At least make sure they are 18
Why
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
