How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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