He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize