I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
