What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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