I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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