I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
