dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
