Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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