i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
