I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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