Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
