i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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