You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
