Kiss
Puke
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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