God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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