watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
