apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize