it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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