Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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