yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
