Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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