I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
