I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
