Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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